The Alien Curves of Grief

it’s not what it seems

any of it

the path
the dream
the grieving

her curves are alien
to me

I thought I would know
how this would be

I thought I would have answers
for you

I thought that I am here to guide you
to teach
to serve

but my own answers
have dissolved
in waves of grief
who hides herself
behind shades of busy
and numb
and worry

perhaps
then
it is the questions
that serve

the dark and mottled
wondering
sinewy, grey
and chill

my own questions
arrive as
window-sill angels

soaring hawks
and
delicate tiny bird skulls

puppy dog eyes
remembered
and those beside me

gifts of another language
signs in an arcane key

questions I don’t know how to ask
questions that hold my heart hostage

my heart
shattered open
so completely
the pain of it
has faded
to dust –
a memory
of what once
filled me

in the frailty of this heavy fog

butterflies still
find their way
to hearts in need

love still flows
from the universe
through these cracks
out to you

wonder calls to me
in a voice muted
by the winter
in my heart

when will I run to her again?
when will love breathe spring
into my heart?

I wait
and wonder
and ask about the season of your heart

I created the images in this post by spelling the words in a mandalas app, using different colours and brushes – or as I like to say “wands”! This is the same method I use to create the Triptych Soul Mandalas for you. Perhaps you’d like a custom set for yourself?