I feel my wishes
floating high above me
pulling an ache
from my heart
I feel the holes
like cookie cut-outs
longing shaped voids
books, beads
crystals, classes
gluten, dairy
pain-free size 6
not all are of these shapes
these voids
are so easy to name
longing’s unrelenting pull
yanks at my heart
shattering tender bits
in a hail of disappointment
these are the longings
I wish were not mine
the comparisons and envies
the absence of gratitude
I don’t want to tell you
I wish I were on her list
I wish I had thought of that offering
I wish they were talking about me
and shame swoops in
to hoard these wishes
enveloping them in boggy insulation
claiming them for its own
yet all the while
my butterflies return to me
in heartfelt gifts
and surprise ornaments
that shatter my heart
and its ungrateful longings
only to fill it again
with love
Part of my doing to move forward is to create a better online shop for my goods and services. I’m oh-so-close and hope to reveal it to you soon. Watch for a grand opening sale in the next week or so.
Even as I typed this, shame was screaming at me that I shouldn’t be trying to sell to you, that I can’t promise when the shop will be ready and that it’s a terrible time to open a shop since I’ve already missed the holiday frenzy. Well, shame, bite me. I said it anyway.
Recently I contributed this piece to the Aweseompreneur Harvest of Heartwork. Isn’t it gorgeous and amazing the beautiful quote they chose to create this awesome badge? And that they made mine purple? I’m over the moon about it! They see me!
How are you finding your way forward? Are there longings that you wish you did not have? Wishes that you don’t really want to tell anyone?
We are here together – in all our imperfect perfection – longing to be the wholeness of ourselves. These bits of us we are not so proud of need to be seen, too. You get to choose who and how, but if we leave them there, insulated from the rest of us, they grow into monsters we may never tame.
It was SUCH an honor to have you on Awesomepreneur! Thank you so much, Teresa <3
I think if we are all honest, since we are all human, we have felt these things. The trick, I think, is just your approach… acknowledging our feelings and moving forward. And sending more love out into the world. You are the best at that. xoxox
Reading this makes me want to meet you even more. What you have written here is so beautiful and intimately honest. Thank you for trusting us with your heart and soul.
Your gorgeous, heart-open honesty makes me feel closer to you, opens my own heart wider, and makes me love you even more!!
Teresa ,thank you it seems you were sharing what I feel at times and starting to understand to love it creates a space for it to move on or stay it really is all good huggs and looking forward to your online store I love the quote and the color
Love the honesty here laid open for us all to see.
I think as humans we all feel these things at different times 🙂 We just try to hide our “dark side”
Looking forward to seeing your new online store!