Clearly, I Have More Work To Do

Macro photo of yellow california poppy and its shadow amongst brown and grey rocks. What stings me is not there.

what stings me

is not there

what hurts most

is what didn’t happen

what holds me down

has more lack
than substance

I see
what is given

work supported
help offered
love given

and wish
for it
to be mine

long to see
that energy
focused on

why can’t
rejoice in
the beautiful gift
offered another

why can’t
follow that
stellar trajectory
to discover
the brilliance

Macro photo of pink magnolia petal on green grass. Clearly, I have more work to do, I don't want it to hurt.clearly
I have more work to do

I don’t want it
to hurt

your love
for another
your boost
of their art
your praise
of their skill

without the same
for me

I don’t want
to be blind
to the support
and love
and praise
from others
because it is not
from you

I don’t want
this longing

I don’t want to be in
your blind spot

I want to be
sure of me

I want to be
sure of your love for me

I want to be
so sure of it that
I never need to hear it

I still need
to hear it

I have more work to do

I have no
no easy fix
to mend my heart
to steer it to

I have only
my heart
and my butterflies

pouring light
and love
into the world
even when
I need it most

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4 Responses to Clearly, I Have More Work To Do

  1. Sorrow February 6, 2014 at 7:50 am #

    sometimes there really are no words.
    Just know that I heard you, and even though I am not the one, I am still holding you in love and light. if I knew how to send the butterflies that you so graciously send, I would fill them full up and whisper for them to alight upon your heart and bring it ease.

  2. Heather Rees February 6, 2014 at 12:16 pm #

    So lovely!

  3. Sue Kearney ( February 13, 2014 at 11:03 am #

    I love this! And I think that the outpouring of love brings it back to us (multiplied). So even when I feel like I have to hoard the love, because I need the love… that’s probably the best time to generously give the love!

    Oy! Could you follow that? I hope it’s not too convoluted!

    Much love to you!

  4. Carolyn Hughes February 14, 2014 at 8:35 am #

    Beautiful rhythm and beautiful words. 🙂

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